-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

             Donald Trump says the US Department of Justice owes him 

             £230m, and if he gets it he'll "give it to charity, or something". 

             My money's on the '"or something".

             (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, October 28)

             -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                               ---------------------------------------------------------

                               One in three of us believe in ghost, apparently. 

                               Not me! I don't even believe in ghostwriters, 

                               so I've written this myself...

                               ------------------------------------------------------------

                               Paradise is: having Tess Daly and Keira Knightley!

                               ------------------------------------------------------------

                               DELHICIOUS - I love Indian food!

                    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

                    CORN ON THE COBWEBS - spiders get into the Halloween spirit!

                    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He's famously TEE TOTAL - it's all "golf, golf, golf" with the Donald...

 

                       ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                       Any truth in the rumour the Royal Family wanted to send

                       Andrew to Coventry, but Coventry refused to have him?...

                       (Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, October 26)

                       ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                                   ----------------------------------------------------

                                   Though nurtured in separate placentas,

                                   They're joined at the hip, those presenters!

                                    Like twins, they're enhancing

                                    Our 'Strictly Come Dancing'

                                    And I doubt there'll be many dissenters...

                                    ---------------------------------------------------

                                    (On announcing their departure)

 

                                    ----------------------------------------------------

                                    Good to know the Gaza ceasefire's in place, 

                                    despite all the latest killings...

                                    (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, October 23)

                                    ----------------------------------------------------