***************************************************

90% of atoms arrested by the police are not
charged. But they'll still keep an ion them...

****************************************************











(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 15)

no wonder he's flagging...

******************************

wow, such pressure! - an
assistant referee's job's
always on the line...

******************************














(17 Syllables)

no money, no honey...

*******************************

Want to get stung? Have
a bee venom facial: three
hundred pounds, at least!

*******************************












('They must have seen me coming': 17 Syllables)

like a kid in a suite shop...

*******************************

Damn! Our new puppy's

eaten the sofa! That's one

hell of a suite tooth!...

*******************************

(17 Syllables)

The Debating Society...

**************************

"Field events are not
nearly as absorbing as
track events". Discus.

**************************











(17 Syllables)

stupid knit...

******************************

I always thought a
cardiologist was a
girl who made cardies...

******************************











('Well, she certainly puts her heart into it': 17 Syllables)

rugby un_on (i left at half-time)

***************************************

Rugby Union's

so boring. Once you've seen one

scrum, you've seen the maul...

***************************************

(I love the sport, to be honest: 17 Syllables)

one of her 5-a-day insults...

*******************************

My wife's the apple
of my eye. But, to her, I'm
an ugli fruit. Bitch...

*******************************












(17 Syllables)

still, it's pleasant enough, I suppose...

*********************************

Why is cordial a
cold drink? Isn't it meant to
be warm and friendly?...

*********************************












(17 Syllables)

Couch potato? Or three-piece sweet potato?...

********************************

I'm addicted to
furniture stores. Talk about
having a suite tooth!...

********************************












(17 Syllables)

the height of fashion...

*****************************************

if a new dress suits
you down to the ground, why wear
it only knee-length?...

*****************************************












('XXLent choice, madam': 17 Syllables)

what, the ones the engine keeps cutting out?...

***************************************

"Do you ever buy
Lawnmower's Weekly?" - "No, dad
sends me the cuttings"...

***************************************












(17 Syllables)

making "all" the difference...

**********************************

My girlfriend was all
over me once. Now she's just
over me. Fine lines...

**********************************











(17 Syllables)