there's no excuse for domestic violence...

***********************************

A true Alpha male
shouldn't ever feel the need
to Beta woman...

***********************************




(17 Syllables)

sex drive...

****************************************

"Humps for half a mile,"
read the sign. Wow! So that's how
far 'all the way' is...

****************************************











(well, she did say "go to town" - it was nearer than I thought)











(17 Syllables)

I wouldn't know - and the Vatican't say...

************************************

Murdering the Pope? -
might that be one step up from
a Cardinal sin?...

************************************


















(17 Syllables)

Brushstrokes...

************************************** 

if a picture paints 

a thousand words, does a small 

one paint a haiku?... 

 ************************************* 

 (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, May 31, 2022:17 Syllables)

to the nearest and cheapest - with my nearest and dearest...

****************************************

bloody staycations! -
our damned cash now goes further
than we ever do...

****************************************










- at least I get positively exhausted these days ( I may be spent, but my money's not)









(17 Syllables)

wine, women and - well, more wine...

******************************

I can't hold a note
for the life of me. But, boy,
can I hold a glass!...

******************************










- 'song'?...forget it! (I'm not even sure about the 'women' bit, to be honest)









(17 Syllables)

the master baiter...

************************************************

"tell me, within five
years, when Bach was born, boy" - "can't
I tell you now, sir?"...

************************************************

















(17 Syllables)

it's a niche markte [sic] [as a prraot?]...

*****************************

out of print, stock...and
order: Merriam-Webster's
first dyslexicon...

*****************************










(less of an A - Z, more of a Q - F)









(17 Syllables)

innuendon't! - innuendo - innuendon't! - oh, OK, then...

*******************************

we love kissing and
making up: she never goes
down without a fight...

*******************************

















('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

a football manager should mind his right back, his left back and his own back...

**************************************

"I'm right behind him,"
avowed the Club Chairman, "how
else can I stab him?"...

**************************************










- When a vote of confidence mean sweet F.A. Appropriate enough, I suppose...








(17 Syllables)

rye humour? - yeah, sort of...

*******************************

are all bounders who
sow their wild oats cereal
philanderers, then?...

*******************************

















(17 Syllables)

"come again?" - and again...and again?...

******************************

safe sex is great, if
you manage to pull it off...
- "um, I think you'll find"...

******************************









(talk about an immaculate misconception)








(17 Syllables)

mimeographs: where are they now?...

Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo,
Roneo...

Wherefore art thou, Roneo?....









My very first "proper job, like" was at the BBC (Circulation Publicity Dept.) and stencil copying/duplicating on the already ancient Roneo machine was one of the many unsought-after responsibilities of yours truly, the up and thrusting (ie: spotty) office junior - now, sadly, as ancient as the Roneo was then. These many years later, if I close my eyes, I can still hear the sound of the old Roneo clanking away. Happy days...

four foot two, eyes of blue...

*****************************************

if a mini-skirt
suits you down to the ground, it's
not a mini-skirt...

*****************************************





(if a mini-skirt suits you down to the ground, then it's far too long)






(17 Syllables)

Captain Morgan...

****************************

no wonder he ran
a tight ship - the bottle it
was in contained rum...

****************************










"t'was as tight as a newt, and really minute"...








('Ship in a Bottle': 17 Syllables)

A Midsummer Night's Dream - the musical...

***********************************

A Frenchman acting 'Bottom'
In London's something rare -
They all now sing his praises:
'The London Derriere'!...

***********************************











('The Londonderry Air': 17 Syllables)

the (ad)vice squad...

************************************

"if it's not on, it's
just not on" - condoms come in
packs, you come in them...

************************************




















('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

a patient potato awaits its night out...

*********************************

the potato's in
its jacket, but, dear God, the
salad's still not dressed!...

*********************************


















('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

down-to-earth with a "sshhhhhh"...

**********************************

some trees shed leaves - it's
autumnatic - so spring comes
as a great releaf...

**********************************
















('17 Syllables' plus re-mix)

er, that's a change of heart, not body...

*************************************

should Transformers who
commit a crime turn themselves
into the police?...

*************************************

















('Robocops': 17 Syllables)

making a good fist of lovemaking...

***********************************

I like to keep my
hand in when it comes to sex -
bloody tight fit, though...

***********************************











(well, not always bloody)








(17 Syllables)

"what d'you want, blood diamonds?"...

********************************

"of course they're only
cheap earrings - it was only
a bling & buy sale"...

********************************
















(17 Syllables)

tall, dark - and bloody bad-tempered...

********************************

"And lucky I am
to be tall, too" (it hurts less
when I hit the roof)

********************************









- who needs 'handsome', anyway?...









('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

dumb belles - all brawn, no brains, bless'em...

*********************************

"Gym's great! Running up
bills is no problem now - and
our gym's are quite steep!"...

*********************************
















('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

if you're going to be late, be pretty late - very pretty late...

***********************************

time and tide wait for
no man - but they might for a
lass who's a looker...

***********************************











('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

from 'island' to 'wasland'...

************************************

Atlantis is no
more - it was swallowed by the
sea. Atlantisn't?
************************************


















('17 Syllabes plus' re-mix)

'down' as in eider, fed as in 'up'...

****************************

"Kiss my arse," said the
duck. I did. No wonder I
feel down in the mouth...

****************************












('The parson's nose': 17 Syllables)

there are fatalities - and very fatalities...

*******************************

Obesity - the
life-cycle: Small...M...L...X
L...XXL...ex

*******************************









did I say 'fatalities'? - better make that 'overweightalities'...political correctness, and all that...









('Reduced to Size': '17 Syllables plus' re-mix)