mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest...

**********************************

The camera never
lies. Beauty does - in the eye
of the beholder...

**********************************









- "me, you say? - gee, shucks"...










('Reflections': '17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

a hole in one's argument...

***************************

A good golfer needs
to be consistent. And I
am! - But not always...

***************************









- thus speaks a man who has only once managed to play what he now chooses to call his 'normal game'...








("Fore!" Play: 17 Syllables)

the fruits of one's labour...

***************************

BlackBerry, Orange,
Apple: are they 3 of our
modern 5-a-day?

***************************
















(17 Syllables)

down in the mouth - but whose?...

**************************************

when my dentist gets
depressed, the mouth he likes to
look down in is mine...

**************************************


















('Patients Are A Virtue': 17 Syllables)

ever the optimist...

************************************

"The jury's hung!" - "So?"
sighed the defendant, "that still
leaves 'drawn and quartered'"...

************************************










- whatever happened to 'Hope Springs Eternal'? (as opposed to Alice Springs, Australia)









('Putting The Pun into Punishment': 17 Syllables)

hard at work - flaccid at home...

******************************

porn stars: not so much
'office workers' as 'having-
it-office' workers...

******************************















(17 Syllables)

working under Mr Smith - and Mr Jones...

********************************

"jeez," sighed the porn star,
"that really was a hard day
at the orifice"...

********************************















(17 Syllables)

it's not (in)conceivable...

*************************************

if 'billets-doux' are
French letters, could they be the
post of post-coital?...

*************************************


















('First-Class Post-Coital': '17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

"boy, is she still hot!"...

************************************

Why's my old flame still
smouldering? - I thought I'd put
her out. With the cat...

************************************







taking a short break, dear follower, back on...

Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday

see you soon...








(17 Syllables)

detective seeks leads...

**********************************

can coppers' mobiles
be charged on circumstantial
evidence alone?...

**********************************










do convicted mobiles end up being cell phones? - just a thought...








(17 Syllables)

ironically, it's when a career takes off...

****************************

you're not really a
fighter pilot until you've
landed your first punch...

****************************










- those flyweights, eh?...









('Making A Fist Of It: 17 Syllables)

and the bistro on the 2nd floor? - that's another storey altogether...

*****************************

you choose! - try out our
first-floor cafe or have a
soup and roll downstairs!...

*****************************

















('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

now, where did I leave it?...

**************************************************************

The key to success
is found within (not on) you -
you can't put it down...





















to anyone else, haha...

scent to sleep...

**************************************

Who needs a bed of
roses? - children? Not those who
go to bed on thyme...

**************************************









not all public school pansies were herbaceous boarders - I was a day-boy (St Pauls)...








('Scent Upstairs': '17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

the definitive "knock-knock" haiku...

*******************************************

"Knock-knock" - "Who's there?" - "A
haik" - "A haik who?" - "Hey, how the
heck did you know that?"...

*******************************************
















(17 Rather Sillybles)

hey, it did what it said on the pin...

****************************

that cameo brooch
I bought the wife - it only
lasted a fortnight...

****************************








that's some cameo - seems a thing of beauty isn't always a joy forever...







(17 Syllables)

are your friendships genuine?...

*******************************

I'm not one to forge
relationships - you can get
done for forgery...

*******************************










(mind you, genuine ones are hard to come by)









(17 Syllables)

lifestyle coaches to the stars...

*****************************

the field these guys are
the leaders in "has to be
organic, darling"...

*****************************










- there are 3 types of sod: organic, non-organic - and pretentious...







(17 Syllables)

the truth, the whole truth and...nothing?

*****************************

Sorry, but I know
for a fact there is no God.
He told me Himself...

*****************************
















(17 Syllables)

scene of cirme [sic] - [as in 'forren[sic]'?]

**********************************

they knew the suspect
was dyslexic - they could tell
from his NDA...

**********************************










- and, with apologies...





******* STRICTLY COME DANCING *******

Here's hoping Holly
Valance goes all the way! (with
me, after the show)

*************************************************



(I hear she's a bit prickly, haha. And anyway, wouldn't that be 'Strictly Cum Dancing'?)




(17 Syllables)

seconds out - quids in...

********************************

time is money - in
boxing, though, a couple of
seconds won't cost much...

********************************









- a bit of beer money should do it...








(17 Syllables)

hey, life's too short...

*********************************

absence makes the heart
grow fonder - fonder of those
who are much nearer!...

*********************************










distance no object? - only if you don't object to distance...









(17 Syllables)

and the Oscar goes to...

************************************

pity the actor
who's reduced to sweeping the
board at awards do's...

************************************












- hey, it's better than cleaning up afterwards...








(17 Syllables)

pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake - "but not too hard, mind"...

*********************************************

Kids, you can't beat'em.
Though I think they should change that
particular law...

*********************************************










right now, society's in a hell of a state - a nanny one, I think you'd call it ...









(17 Syllables)

(I think it's natural) justice...

**********************************

"a platinum blonde
judge? you can't ask for fairer
than that," I whispered...

**********************************


















('A Fair Trial': 17 Syllables)

well, it would, wouldn't it...

**********************************

I lost on points last
night shadow-boxing. Mine, it
seems, just shaded it...

**********************************
















(17 Syllables)

as in 'The Merchant of..."?

******************************

a vegan may read
Tennyson - but not Bacon,
Lamb (or venison?)

******************************









- Charles Lamb and Francis Bacon: not so much 'red meat' as 'well-read meat'...








('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)