taking the cute out of cuticle...

*************************************

I'm filing my nails -
for bankruptcy. They've cost me
a bloody fortune...

*************************************




















( 'Nail Bar Junkie': '17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

cricket: it's catching (well, maybe not)

*********************************

damn my dropped catches! -  

it's getting out of hand - well,
in...then out of hand...

*********************************.

("do as you would be done by," they said - so now they've dropped me)

('Over and Out' (or 'not out', as the case may be): 17 Syllables)

George I - George IV...

*****************************************

"Did you know there's two
between us?" said George the First
to Intravenous...

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('The Holly and the ***king IV': '17 Syllables Plus' re-mix)

forget 'dial tone', think 'skin tone'...

**************************************

you think my phone looks
old now? - you should see it first
thing in the morning!...

**************************************





















(17 Syllables)

just the one hit (and an illegal one, at that)

*********************************

I hit the big-time
once - but below the belt, so
got disqualified...

*********************************



















('Skid Row': 17 Syllables)

yoo-hoo! - "flu who?"...

*************************************

"my mother-in-law's
coming down this weekend?" - I
trust you mean "with flu"?...

*************************************




















('Where Do You Live?' - 'In Hope': 17 Syllables)

class A and class B - the reunion years...

*******************************

education, it's
like a drug - well, it was at
my legal high school...

*******************************



















('Legal Highs': 17 Syllables)

Sea-section?...

**********************************************

"Quick! My wife's about
to drop!" - "Drop what? Drop anchor?" -
"Yes! Look! it's a buoy!"...

**********************************************




















(17 Syllables)

stolen a few kisses in my time, too...

*******************************

I love pinching girls'
bottoms - but I always give
them back the next day...

*******************************




















('Pretty Theft': 17 Syllables)

marriage - behind closed doors...

**************************************

"God! You always have
to have the last word!"..."Sorry"...
"There you go again!"...

**************************************


















('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

the marathon - couch potato or runner bean?...

**********************************

a 'twenty-six point
two-one mile' scenic root? - it
must be a runner...

**********************************


















(17 Syllables)

he didn't shine today, it seems...

***************************************

it's just not cricket:
twenty past twelve, and the son's
out! - clean bowled for four...

***************************************












(17 Rather Sillybles)

ground pepper? - underground, more like...

**************************************

should cellar dwellers
pay peppercorn rents? - well, not
if they're salt cellars...

**************************************



















(17 Syllables)

master of the 3-line (uni)verse...

************************

does Dr Who in
fact exist? - all I ever
see is his locum...

************************



















('Trying My Patients': 17 syllables)

(not so poor)nography...

*********************************

indecent photos
have I none - I'm told, in fact,
they're not half decent...

*********************************











'poornography' - the product of a misspelt yooth? - discuss...













('Snap Judgements': 17 Syllables)

cheap at half the price...

*******************************

"London 2012" -
and all it cost was an arm
and a legacy...

*******************************












- just the one de-Rogge-tory comment: has there ever been a less inspiring speech-maker than the IOC President?...












('Legacy - The Buzz Word': 17 Syllables)

I'll Iove you forever - well, till Tuesday, anyway...

*********************************

"for better, for worse -
but not necessarily
for good, right?" - marriage...

*********************************

















(17 Syllables)