if, on the 1st you don't succeed, s*d it...

*************************************

I always Knew Years'
Resolutions never worked:
"no more puns?" - yeah, right...

*************************************

















('New Years' Resolutions': the 17 Annual Syllables)

was it a tear the garden shed?...

**************************************

"I've been here all my
life," sighed the snowflake on my
lawn. And then was gone...

**************************************








('In the Blink of a Lifetime': 17 Syllables)

stocking up for Christmas...

*************************************

it's Christmas stocking
time! - let's hear it for good old
ho-ho-hosiery!

*************************************




Happy Christmas!




---------- English as a Foreign Language -----------
-------------------------------------------------------------
Seen on a Gambian menu today: 
'Mini Stronic Soup and Stuffed Crap'. Yummy...
-------------------------------------------------------------







(17 Syllables)

talk about not being very bright...

******************************

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

what? what? what? what?

******************************




40 whats? - yeah, that's pretty dim all right...


******************************************************************************

Loved a local sign I saw here yesterday: "Tonight: DJ Smithy with Suprised Guests"

******************************************************************************

Utope...Utopier...Utopiest...

****************************

There's more to life than
fun and frivolity. There's
cheese. And apricots...

****************************




















(17 Syllables)

Happy Noel...

*************************************

No, Johnnie, it's not
called 'the HOLLY Land', it's 'the
HOLY Land!' - "No L"...

*************************************










same difference...












(The Six and Two Threes Days of Christmas): 17 Syllables)

when 'the late' became 'the very late'...

**************************************

"Step on it!" I told
the hearse driver. So he stopped,
slid it out - and did...

**************************************











('isn't it the grave you're meant to dance on?': 17 Syllables)

talk about the R. S. not very PC. A....

*************************

the vet's practice was
so tiny I could hardly
swing my cat in it...

*************************


















('Not For The Want Of Trying': 17 Syllables)

opposites attract: she's easy, I'm hard...

*************************

Becoming hard is
easy. If you find easy
women becoming...

*************************


















(17 Syllables)

Jesus saves. Me, too - religiously...

 **************************************

money talks, but banks
are its spokesmen - and I'm sick
of all their statements...

**************************************










(statements of very little interest, to be honest - 0.5%, at most)












('Ever Hear A Bank Teller Joke?': 17 Syllables)