in the, ahem, glasshouse...

**************************

my father's just been
sent to prism - truly a
time for reflection...

**************************








And this will be my one and only reference to the football World Cup: is a SIM card a card given to footballers for DIVING?  I say 'diving' - in football it's called 'SIMULATION'. Cheating by any other name, and just one of the many reasons I can no longer stand the so-called 'beautiful game'. And I speak here as a lifelong sports lover...

The sport of football
is long since dead. The business
of football drags on...






(17 Syllables)

"can you smell paraffin?" - "yes: P-A-R-A-F-F-I-N"...

*****************************************

"You're a daft old sod" -
"Hey, that's out of order!" - "You're
an old daft sod, then"...

*****************************************


















(17 Pretty Sillybles)

a difficult birth...

*********************************

Born in Kent, I moved
to Poole at 8, then Leeds at
12. Hell of a day...

*********************************


















('Travelling Light': 17 Syllables)

vincent hefter, lifestyle guru...

*****************************************

if you must cut out
something from 'wine, women and
song', make it the 'and'...

*****************************************


















('You Only Live Once': 17 Syllables)

a (classical) musical haiku: short and suite...

****************************

dig that flute solo:
a haunting 3-liner - and
all in E minor...

****************************


















('More sherry, vicar?': 17 Syllables)

mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the...

*****************************

when beauty lies in
the eye of the beholder,
it's a white lie, right?...

*****************************


















("Because the truth hurts": 17 Syllables)

well-red (and a bit blue)

***************************************************

I love paperbacks,
hardbacks and humpbacks - "humpbacks?" -
pornography, mate...

***************************************************


















('It takes all types (though I prefer italics)': 17 Syllables)

It's pretty good for shirts, too. Tee shirts...

************************************

the only way I
can get a smooth golf swing is
by using an iron...

************************************


















(17 Syllables)

a slowly developing photo in the 1st floor cafe...

**********************************

sees a sees a sees
a salad...does sees a sees
a sees a salad?

Caesar sees a sees
a salad...does Caesar sees
a sees a salad?

Caesar sees a Caes-
ar salad...does Caesar seize
a Caesar salad?

**********************************





...or does he have a coffee and roll downstairs?






(17 x 3 Rather Sillybles)

my dad, ever the intelligentleman...

***************************************

Mum told dad to stop
trying to please people. "If that's
what you want," he smiled...

***************************************


















(17 Syllables)

'mind the gap' year students...

******************************

it's great that students
travel overseas - but who
then oversees them?...

******************************


















(17 Syllables)

and who would beg to differ?...

******************************

to a mendicant,
sustenance is always just
an alms length away...

******************************


















(17 Syllables)

"I guess so," said the voyeur...

*****************************

would you call a two-
way mirror 'a window of
opportunity'?...

*****************************


















(17 Syllables)

the car? it's a better runner than I am...

********************************

can getting behind
the wheel in a tracksuit be
called a fitness drive?...

********************************








(17 Syllables)

the vice of vice versa, the sin of synonym...

***********************************

pole-dancers shove their
bodies up a pole - men, their
poles up a body...

***********************************


















(17 Syllables)

albumen will be men (knuckle sandwich, anyone?)

***************************

things got so heated
in the kitchen I had to
separate the eggs...

***************************


















(17 Syllables)

'my little man'ipulator...

*******************************************

I've got quite a soft
spot for my wife. Though she knows
how to harden it...

*******************************************


















(17 Syllables)

children: they've a lot on their plate...

*****************************************

"I hate sprouts...AND MUM!"
cried Johnny . "Well, you can leave
the sprouts...but not home"

*****************************************


















(17 Syllables)

I'm Happy. It's Official...

**************************************

I auditioned for
Snow White and managed to get
onto the short list...

**************************************



Doc,
Grumpy,
HAPPY,
Sleepy,
Bashful,
Sneezy,
Dopey...





...the very short list. (The producers had searched high & low. Low, mostly.)




(17 Sillybillybles)

I've buggered off to Berlin for 3 nights. Hope to see you when I get back. Many thanks.

a good night's sleep makes a word of difference...

*******************************

"I'm lacquered," said the
cabinet. - "I'm often hired
myself," said the van...

*******************************


















('And so to bed': 17 Syllables)

(abandon) rags to riches: the wages of 'sin ropa'...

********************************************

"I'm much better off
now," beamed the stripper. 'So would
your clothes be,' I thought...

********************************************


















("Get 'em off!" shouted the crowd/in awedience: 17 Syllables)

(C)rhyme and (Bad) Pun-ishment (the abridged version)

*******************************

"The judge sentenced me
to seventeen syllables."
That's a short sentence...

*******************************









He could have thrown the book at me. Affrays book, methinks...










(17 Syllables)

who wants the humerus?...

********************************

"this laughing stock makes
clowns taste even funnier,"
said the cannibal...

********************************


















(17 Rather Sillybles)

Laughter, the best medicine. Do not exceed stated dose...

************************************

My mum almost died
laughing yesterday. She should
have read the label...

************************************














('Nothing serious. Infectious, though': 17 Sillybillybles)

down in the mouth - but whose?...

***************************************

when my dentist gets
depressed, the mouth he likes to
look down in is mine...

***************************************


















('Patients are a virtue': 17 Syllables)

aroma(n)tic spice girl...

**********************************

it's Mother's Day - should
Jayne buy her cardamom? Or
buy her momacard?...

**********************************


















('Cardamom's the word': 17 Syllables)