******************************************************

'Milionares, lifes, tragedys?' - if the
placard-waving Day of Rage protesters
think this is class war (Daily Mail), I can only
assume they mean 'bottom of the class' war...

******************************************************








(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 26)

Our current PM's travails...

********************************************************

If a week's a long time in politics, just imagine
how long a month is! Except for May, of course.
I doubt May will last that long...

********************************************************


A week's a long time
in politics. Not all months
are: May won't last long!



(17 Syllables)

******************************************************

Hard not to relate to last week's article in
You magazine: 'No sex, please, we're married'.
How many other readers' marriages are just
like their brand new credit cards: contactless?
Join the club!...

******************************************************








(Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, June 25)

*******************************************************

"And here's the 51st fact you never knew about
ATMs (Mail): only a nutcase tries to withdraw
cashews from a hole-in-the-walnut"...

*******************************************************









(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 23)

hey, can't you stay a shade...well, darker?...

*********************************

my tan behaves like
a call-girl: it comes quickly
- and leaves just as fast!...

*********************************








(17 Syllables)

**********************************************************

WORDY WISE, Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 22:
INNcognito: snug bar...
INNcur: landlord's dog...
INNcurious: a stranger walks into the bar...

**********************************************************


(Following on from  17/5/2017 and 3/6/2017. Why did the Daily Mail split them so weirdly?)

caught! - it's just not cricket...

***********************************

the food in my bag
wasn't bought - if my case is
not dropped, then it's court...

***********************************









(17 Syllables)

should have been filmed by Zephyrelli......

*******************************************

I hear writing 'Gone
With The Wind' was a breeze  - from
the very first draft...

*******************************************








(17 Rather Sillybles)

lack of a motion...

****************************************

"The living statue's
still there!" - "So what? It's his job
to be still. Somewhere."

****************************************









(17 Syllables)

******************************************************************

"More spiralised squash, palmyra jaggery or coconut
nectar crystals, anyone?"...rest assured, Amelia Freer,
I, for one, won't be calling upon your services any time
soon if that's what you recommend for a trimmer figure.
If anyone really wants to be shrunk this way,
I suggest they go see a shrink!

******************************************************************








(Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, June 18)

masque-raid...

****************************************

'if no-one pulls it
off,' thought the masked robber, 'I
might just pull it off'...

****************************************









(17 Syllables)

sound radio - unsound mind?...

******************************

Radio 4: "the
following report contains
flash photography"...

******************************









(17 Syllables)

the only thing I'm working out is how NOT to!...

*****************************

Skipping training's great!
(Cardiovascularly,
you just can't beat it!)

*****************************









('In the gym': 17 Syllables)

something about nothing...

*****************************************

'nothing' backwards is
'gnihton' - which is weird, as that
means nothing, as well...

*****************************************









(17 Rather Sillybles)

*************************************************************

Can a photo of scantily-clad 1950s showgirls playing
chess be classified as pawnography? (Tory MP caught
taking a peek in House of Commons)

*************************************************************









(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 16)

************************************************

Wow! Times New Roman! Just my type...

************************************************









(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 15)

when a relationshit hits the fan...

************************************

if you have it in
for somebody, should you have
it out with them first?...

************************************









(17 Syllables)

ever the optimist...

*****************************

most relationships
end in calamity - or,
even worse, marriage...

*****************************









(17 Syllables)

*********************************************

So Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law
is now doing porridge (Mail). I wonder
if Gordon's given him any tips?...

*********************************************









(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 12)

eyes and teas...

*********************************

to cross your 't's and
dot your i's is really hard
when you cross your eyes...

*********************************









(17 Sillybles)

and windfall apples, of course...

********************************************

to me, expensive
things aren't dear - what's dear to me
is free: air, love, speech...

********************************************









(17 Syllables)

*****************************************************

Britt Ekland apparently calls her dog David
Bowie (Mail). Myself, I would have gone with
David Bow-wow-ie...

*****************************************************








(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 9)

caravanning - what's not to love?...

*******************************

the home's tyred, the kids
are all in, and the driver?
- he's ready to go!...

*******************************









(17 Sillybles)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law is now doing porridge (news item).
I wonder if Gordon's given him any tips?...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

******************************************************************************

"So what if TV weatherman Tomasz Schafernaker confuses summer
and winter (Mail)? He's only human - not an autumnaton!...

******************************************************************************








(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 6)

white (di)van man...

******************************

seems some folk on the
dole do have a job: a job
getting out of bed...

******************************








(17 Syllables)

********************************************************

"Drink World Cola and make your dreams come
true," proclaim the posters in Gambia. Well, I'm
still waiting. Just how many f****** bottles do
you have to drink!?...

********************************************************

you have male...

******************************************

"My deer Rudolph"..."My
deer Prancer"...(sounds pretty much
like a hart to hart)

******************************************









(17 Syllables)

******************************************************************************

Wordy Wise, Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, June 1 (continuing
the May 17 list, though why they split them, heaven only knows)
INNclination: leaning on the bar...
INNcoherent: it's the drink talking...
INNconsistent: always a great pint...OK, I think that's enough now.

******************************************************************************


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Donald Trump says he's open to re-negotiating entry to the Paris Accord.
When would that be, exactly? When the climate's right?...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Butter prices have soared by more than 53% (news item)...
Spread the word! (And the word's 'marge')
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you, British Airways, for separating me from my bags for such a
long time. But don't worry, I made do with the ones under my eyes I got
from sleeping on the airport floor...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not exported food 'going off' Britain has to worry about. Imported
guns going off, that's the problem...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiger Woods on DUI charge (news item)

********************************

Asleep at the wheel,
Tiger Woods? Still averse to
using your driver?...

********************************









(17 Syllables)

putting food on the table...

****************************************

all things come to those
who wait - but who the hell wants
to be a waiter?...

****************************************










(17 Sillybles)