she can't cook - but often makes me duck...

**************************************

my wife and I keep
a scrapbook - reminds us of
all the times we've  scrapped...

**************************************



(17 Syllables)

***************************************************

It's OK to tell jokes that are close to the
bone - as long as it's the humerus, haha...

***************************************************



(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 23)

*******************************************************

Are 'fatty deposits' the many pounds lost by
dieters purchasing a diet guru's book that are
then put straight into his bank account?...

*******************************************************



(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 19)

a weight off her mind...

********************************

"I want to get rid
of unwanted fat," said my
wife - so divorced me...

********************************



(17 Syllables)

with friends like them...

**********************************

I've just been given
a four-star review! They say
I'm ****ing awful!...

**********************************



(17 Syllables)

*****************************************************

It's pretty hard organising a downhill skiing
competition when you're told everyone has
to compete on a level playing field...

*****************************************************



(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 9)

$3,000 LOST IN SANTANDER BANK HACKING SCANDAL. "Dance, and you'll feel better," she said. Fat chance. (Mind you, SHE seems to be coping well enough)
-----------------------------------------
In the beginning
was The Word. Then came hacking
and booty-shakin'...
-----------------------------------------