Stocking up for Christmas!...

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It's Christmas stocking
time! - let's hear it for good old
ho-ho-hosiery!...

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(17 Rather Sillybles)

in my element - my chemical element, sadly...

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everything I touch
turns to gold - so foreplay's a
bit of a problem...

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('Au!': 17 Syllables)

on trend...

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'Older men are in
this year,' my newspaper said.
'In what?' I wondered...

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(17 Rather Sillybles)

they even fly off their very own handles (but never when drunk)...

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My brothers? They're mugs!
But they do what mugs do best -
they can hold their beer...

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(17 Syllables)

9.5, 9.5, 9.0, 9.5, 9.0, 9.0, 9.5...

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the best way to make
a splash as a diver is...
not to make a splash!

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(17 Syllables)

well-read light area...

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do psychologists
get turned on by strippers who
bare only their souls?...

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(17 Syllables)