Something by Schubert or Strauss, preferably...

****************************************

Needing sheet music,

I asked the shop salesman: "take 

me to your lieder"...

****************************************

(17 Syllables)

Can't wait!...

******************************

How soon before Trump

becomes as silent as the 

'c' in 'indicted'?...

******************************

(17 Syllables)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Am I alone in finding the mocking of Suzy Izzard rather unEddiefying?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Beautiful Game...

***********************************************

Pass, pass, pass, pass, foul,

pass, pass, foul, pass, foul, pass, pass,

pass, pass, pass, foul, yawn...

***********************************************

(17 Syllables)

My place or yours?...

***************************************

Endless Love in E 

flat sounds much more fun than

a quick hug in mine...🎵

***************************************

(17 Syllables)

******************************************

If you save a vegan's life, are you

saving their bacon or their Quorn?

******************************************

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, March 22)

Murdoch to marry again - at 92...

************************************

Seems Rupert Murdoch's

got an obsession with money

AND matri-money...

************************************

(Does 'being joined in holy matrimoney' mean 

having a joint bank account? Asking for a friend)

(Holy matrimoney - marriage to a sugar daddy: 17 Syllables)

She can't cook - but often makes me duck...

 ***************************************

My wife and I keep
a scrapbook - reminds us of
all the times we've  scrapped...

***************************************



Do I believe in flying saucers? Only in the kitchen.

(My wife can't cook - but often makes me duck!)

(17 Syllables)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

ADRIAN'S WALL - the one that surrounds Mr Chiles's plot?...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Better get a bridge fitted...

************************************

"You fell into the

root canal, you say?" - "Yes. It

was acci-dental"...

************************************

(17 Syllables)

Sycophants Anonymous...

*************************************

When the cat's away,

the mice...(the boss is always

right - until he's left.)

*************************************

(17 Syllables)

Down in the mouth...

*******************************

When my dentist says

"open wider," it turns out

he means my wallet...

*******************************

(£1,850 and counting. Bugger!: 17 Syllables)

************************************************************

"It was a one-off," says Fiona Bruce of Stanley

Johnson's wife-beating.

Just as a mastectomy is only a one-off or two-off

at most, I guess.

Hardly worth mentioning, right?...😡

************************************************************

Emotional support, my arse...

******************************************

Don't you just hate it

when dogs on planes disembark...

bark...bark...so loudly?

******************************************

(17 Syllables)

Obese, immature and outspoken...

********************************

HOMERPHOBIA -

strong dislike of a certain

Simpsons character...

********************************

(17 Syllables)