(As in Lord Waheed Alli, who appears to have been lavishing the 

                      millionaire Starmer with more gifts than you can shake a stick at)

 

 

 

 

If this one ain't in a Christmas cracker, then it sure as hell should be!...

         (Posted on October 2 - I'm way ahead of myself. Might even be dead by now!)

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                                      A WEIGH IN A MANGER - it's a boy, 7.5lbs!

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                A genius born in a stable will always trump a stable genius. Sorry, Donald.

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                A dessert with no calories is like a gift of sweet nothings...

                (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, December 24)

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                    --------------------------------------------------------------------

                    JACK AND THE BEANS TALK - oh, to be a fly on the wall!

                    PUSS IN BOOTS - he's often spotted in the local pharmacy.

                    A LAD IN DRAG - I knew it was a boy!

                    ROBBIN' HOOD - and givin' to the poor?

                    ALI BAA BAA -  the black sheep of the family.

                    ALICE IN SUNDERLAND - guess who took a wrong turn?

                    PETER PANTO - does what it says on the tin

                    PETER PANDEMIC - laughter: infectious, but not deadly.

                    -------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're 'aving a giraffe, right?"...

   -----------------------------------------------

   Coriol anus 

   AND Bottom? - Seems Shakespeare was

   obsessed by backsides...

   -----------------------------------------------

        -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Indifference runs in the family. Can't say I'm that bothered, to be honest.

        (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, December 13)

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                      -----------------------------------------------------------------------

                      Will every Tom, Dick and Harry be called Muhammad soon?

                      (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, December 9) (News item)

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----------------------------

                                                    Herr Wolfram Schmidt.

                                                    ----------------------------
 

 

 

                                            ----------------------------------------

                                            "Two lamb chops, please, and

                                             make them lean" - "Certainly, sir.

                                             To the left or right?"...

                                             ----------------------------------------

                                             (As old as the hills, but hey...)

 

 

                        -----------------------------------------------------------------------

                        XENAPHOBIA - intense dislike of a certain warrior princess.

                        (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, January 21, 2025)

                        -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 

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            WEAK DAYS - those days when you don't have the strength to go to work.

            (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, December 10)

            ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      CHER AND CHER ALIKE - iconic singer meets her doppelgänger.

      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

              --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

              If Gregg Wallace's career really IS toast, can we at least get 

              to watch him have a taste of the various bread options available: 

              wholegrain, sourdough or white...

              --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

                                   ---------------------------------------------------

                                   Atheists avoid church religiously...

                                  (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 29)

                                  ---------------------------------------------------

                     -----------------------------------------------------------------

                     When my brother sings for his supper, mum gives him

                     a tuna salad. Me, I get given an out of tuna one...

                     -----------------------------------------------------------------

                                      -------------------------------------------------

                                      Is a thinking man's DISH a contemPLATE?

                                      -------------------------------------------------

      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      OPERRATIC SINGERS - the ones who tend to throw in the odd bum note.

      (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 26)

      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Clue: Google translate...

 

                                               --------------------------

                                               Are the folk who live

                                               by the Adriatic small

                                               sea conservatives?...

                                               --------------------------

                                               (53,000 sq mi)

 

 

 

 

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                     LONG TIME NO SEA - fossils indicate it dried up millions of years ago.

                     (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 19)

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