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                      Will every Tom, Dick and Harry be called Muhammad soon?

                      (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, December 9) (News item)

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                                                    Herr Wolfram Schmidt.

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                                            "Two lamb chops, please, and

                                             make them lean" - "Certainly, sir.

                                             To the left or right?"...

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                                             (As old as the hills, but hey...)

 

 

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                        XENAPHOBIA - fear or dislike of a certain warrior princess.

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            WEAK DAYS - those days when you don't have the strength to go to work.

            (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, December 10)

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      CHER AND CHER ALIKE - iconic singer meets her doppelgänger.

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              If Gregg Wallace's career really IS toast, can we at least get 

              to watch him have a taste of the various bread options available: 

              wholegrain, sourdough or white...

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                                   Atheists avoid church religiously...

                                  (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 29)

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                     When my brother sings for his supper, mum gives him

                     a tuna salad. Me, I get given an out of tuna one...

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                                      Is a thinking man's DISH a contemPLATE?

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      OPERRATIC SINGERS - the ones who tend to throw in the odd bum note.

      (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 26)

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Clue: Google translate...

 

                                               --------------------------

                                               Are the folk who live

                                               by the Adriatic small

                                               sea conservatives?...

                                               --------------------------

                                               (53,000 sq mi)

 

 

 

 

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                     LONG TIME NO SEA - fossils indicate it dried up millions of years ago.

                     (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 19)

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                                 If  articles on haunted houses can be ghostwritten, 

                                 can articles on evil phantoms be ghoulwritten?

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He took his bloody time. Religion, eh?...

 

 

 

How long before we live in a colour blind society? Until it was pointed out in just about every newscast I listened to, it had never occurred to me that Kemi Badenoch was the first black leader of a major UK party - simply because her skin colour had been a complete irrelevance to me. It came as a shock to me that I had not even consciously registered her skin tone. A politician's colour should indeed be as irrelevant and unimportant as the size of his/her ears, their inside leg measurement or whether or not they are left or right-handed. Of course, I realise her victory is seen as a big deal to people of colour, and I understand that - it's just that it's sad that skin tone should have any place in the conversation. And probably will do for generations to come. Shame on all of us.

(Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, November 10)

 

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                     THE MERCH OF VENICE - Bridge of Sighs gift shop souvenirs.

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                                      HOODLUMP - overweight petty gangster...

                                      (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 5)

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                                             For "odium on the podium"

                                             Read "Trump on the stump" -

                                             (He DESERVES our opprobrium

                                             For being such a chump)

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Kate, Duchess of Cambridge...

 

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                           From Erik TEN HAG to 'gone, but not forgotTEN HAG'. 

                           It was always just a matter of time...

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       Seasoned professionals Salt and Pepper are in the latest England white-ball

       cricket squad to play the West Indies. Shame Onions no longer plays.

       (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, October 24)

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