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                            TO FALL ON ONE'S SWARD - to take a tumble in the back 

                            garden...(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 29)

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                   Why settle for seventh heaven when you could be on cloud nine?

                   (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 28)

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                                            The current pope is the 266th... 

                                            not a cardinal number, obviously.

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                                    Not sure which I dislike the most: 10 denier 

                                    tights or climate change denier attitudes...

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#Olympics2024...

 

 

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          What a great all-round athlete my brother is! He won the

          100m three years running, the trampoline championships 

          twice on the bounce and the lightweight sculls four years 

          in a row. Didn't quite win the diving, but, hey, he made 

          quite a splash...(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 21)

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A 4-HOUR opening ceremony?...

 

The end of the Paris Olympics...

 

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                  TO FALL ON ONE'S SWARD - to take a tumble in the back garden.

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                  If two tattooists have designs on each other, do they have to be their own designs? 

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 "Donald, duck! I've got

     a gun, and I'm not afraid 

    to use it," he quacked...

    ------------------------------

I posted this on December 17, 2021. Strangely prophetic, as it turns out...

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               Our club is looking for a reliable bouncer. I wonder if 

               trampoline gold medallist Bryony Page might be interested?...

                    (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 13)

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                           Some people went to any lengths to win an Olympic

                           medal. Hats off to the 50m swimmers: they only needed to

                           go to one!...(Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, August 11,

                           Irish Daily Mail, August 14)

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                                  OPENING CEREMONEY - the inordinate cost

                                  of an interminable spectacle...

                                  (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 6)

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A break from the humorous haiku. Just getting something off my chest. Such a vile man, beloved by morons. And 'vile' is no more than an anagram of evil, right?...

                           

 

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A KNIGHT AT THE OPERA - Sir Keir takes the evening off.

LADY OF THE KNIGHT - Sir Keir's better half.

THE KNIGHT IS YOUNG - well, younger than Joe Biden.

KNIGHT OWL - Sir Keir burns the midnight oil..

KNIGHT FEVER - Sir Keir seems a bit poorly..

KNIGHT VISION - how Sir Keir sees our country's future.

IT'LL BE ALRIGHT ON THE KNIGHT - I'm sure that new jumper will suit him. 

A KNIGHT ON THE TILES - even Sir Keir is entitled to a spot of revelry!

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 2)

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      I'm not sure if I listen to Test Match Special for the actual cricket, or 

      for the wonderful Andy Zaltzman's periodic bons mots. Often far 

      more entertaining than the game itself. Give the man an honour.

      (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 1) Edited, of course...

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