THE WAITRESS...

                                               ------------------------------

                                               She thought he was rude,

                                               So spat in his coffee -

                                               "They gave me the sack,

                                               But I don't give a toffee"...

                                               -------------------------------
 

                                              EATING MY WORDS...

                                              ------------------------------

                                              I swallowed my pride

                                              (Having dunked it in tea)

                                              And now I'm as humble

                                              As humble can be...

                                              ------------------------------

 

 

 

 

                      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

                      No rest for the wicked? Thankfully, not many snooker players 

                      ARE wicked, so they'll still be able to use one...

                      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

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It's a table for one,

Which isn't much fun

On a day which is truly romantic.

But I'm sure I'll be fine

If I order some wine

And a glass which is simply gigantic.

------------ or ------------

It's a table for one,

Which isn't much fun

Whilst others are eating in pairs.

But what's there to lose?

I'll order some booze

And ignore all the whispers and stares.

--------------------------

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, Feb. 14 (They published the first one)

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