Wednesday, June 8, 2011

It isn't just Lady Gaga who's big in the States...

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There's a truly massive American community
in this part of the world.

Just the three men and two women, of course.

But, boy, are they massive...

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Racism and Fattism - talk about killing two birds with (at least) one stone overweight...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

the one that got away...

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Carpe deum - "seize
the day"
. Troute deum - "grab
the other fish, mate"...

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- talking of 'dropped catch of the day', how about this selection from the menu of yesterday evening's eating establishment of choice in Yangshuo:

Bad cabbage fleshy foam,
Sydney pig live soup,
Peanut you should try soup,
Colocasia esculenta schott fleshy foam,
Element face,
Manual dumplings...


I settled for the eggplant and garlic claypot dish, and bloody good it was, too...





(17 syllables, 3 lines, 4 flies)

Sunday, June 5, 2011

from 'Masterchef' to 'Fasterchef' (hey, needs must)

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"cooking doesn't get
tougher than this,"
I mused - then
the microwave pinged...

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This blogging business is a bit of a lottery in China. Officially, the blogger.com site has been blocked. Unofficially, there are ways and means of circumventing these continued attempts to stifle freedom of speech. But fingers tend to remain firmly crossed when attempting to access the site (which doesn't exactly help with the typing).
Right now, for whatever the reason, the site is 'down' as often as it's up and running.
Who knew that 'menstrualcycleclips.blogspot.com' was so politically subversive?

Don't get me started. There's a time and place, and maybe this isn't it.

(Cue silent rant...)



(17 syllables)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

he only took a few minutes (not ours)

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a caring burglar
will take his time - for taking
yours would be a crime...

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I tend to refer to myself over here as 'the stupid old Englishman'. "But you're not old," someone is always quick to reassure me.
It would be nice if, just the once, someone said "but you're not stupid".
Quite hurtful, the Chinese...





('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

Friday, June 3, 2011

the alimentary canal? - isn't that somewhere near Panama?...

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"Passing ships in the
night?" you say. Good God, man, no
wonder you've got piles...

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It transpires that my Chinese friend's Cafe/'Hostel' (4 rooms) has never registered itself with the authorities. All hell broke loose when I applied for my visa extension and it turned out that, as a result of this flouting of the regulations, I wasn't registered either. Big trouble for the Cafe/'Hostel', I feared. Indeed, my friend tells how she was made to take a seat in the middle of a room to be interrogated by a dozen or so Public Security Bureau officials positioned - for reasons known only to themselves - in a circle around her. All a bit OTT. But then just as suddenly, the situation seems to have been resolved to everyone's satisfaction. Best not to ask, I guess.
Resolved to everyone's satisfaction bar mine, that is. It looks like I might have to do a visa run to Hong Kong as a result. Bit of a pain in the backside, to say the least.





(17 Syllables)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Billy No-Mates, that's me...

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I rang the Lonely
Hearts Club once. "Sorry," they said,
"we're not that lonely"...

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(17 Syllables)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

lazy is as lazy does...

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Some folk run a mile
from the very word 'gym'. Not
me - I take the bus...

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(the only thing I'd exercise in the gym would be my right to do bugger all)





(17 Syllables)