Yu Tel Mi...

*********************************

how come Chairman Mao's
little-read book had quite so
much influence, then?...

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('Mao's Little Red Book': 17 Syllables)

my blood's IQ? 82 (that's thicker than water)

***************************

my dream? - to be an
idiot savant...and I'm
told I'm halfway there...

***************************









(not, alas, a news
exclusive: the 'savant' bit
remains elusive)












('One Step at a Time': 17 Syllables)

sustainable fishing...

****************************************

does fish in a great 
sauce mean more than fish from a
responsible one?...

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(to some fishermen, it's all about net profit: 'the bigger the net, the greater the profit')













('Oops, I've just eaten my words - delicious!': 17 Syllables)

Channel 4: laughter, the best medicine...

***************************

They've made a film of
my mastectomy. It's a
one-off. The left one...

***************************











- "that's all very deadpan - now fetch me a bedpan"...











('The Documentary': 17 Syllables)

beaten only by the whip...

*************************************

Frankel never had
a mare on the racecourse - he'll
have a fair few now!...

*************************************










...and, with stud fees at £125,000 a pop, he'd better perform (news item today)












('The Greatest Ever?': 17 Syllables)

you just can't beat a hoover...

*************************************

You just can't beat a
good carpet. Well, you can, but
no-one does these days...

*************************************




















('The Hoover:  it beats as it sweeps as it cleans': 17 Syllables)

come the fall...

***********************************

can't get to sleep? - lie
right on the edge of your bed,
mate - you'll soon drop off...

***********************************

















(17 Syllables)