***********************************************

I've been watching telly on and off for
years - though mostly when it's on...

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(Vincent Hefter, DailyMail, July 12)

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Who cares if we've upset Donald Trump?
'MAKE AMERICA IRATE AGAIN!'

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(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, July 11)

me? a door-able? hardly...

********************************

I'm a knob! So what?
At least it means I can fly
off my own handle...

********************************



(17 Syllables)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Having your advice ignored by Mrs May, and being insulted
by the British ambassador: Twin Piques, starring Donald Trump
(contains gratuitous name-calling and lack of diplomacy)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

*************************************************************

Roger Federer? The greatest! And that's not a
backhand compliment - it's a backhand, forehand,
serve, volley, smash AND lob compliment!...

*************************************************************



(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, July 9)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I quite fancy Maria Sharapova. Thing is, I quite fancy
Feliciano Lopez, too. Does that make me bi-kyrios?...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

6.4...7.2...5.9?...

***************************************

how can you find out
the size of an earthquake? - ask
a sizemologist!...

***************************************



(17 Syllables)
---------------------------------------------------
Ginger arsonists burn quicker in the sun...
---------------------------------------------------

the 'fiction' of crucifiction?...

**************************************

"I'm screwed," sighed Jesus
on the cross. Not quite true - I
believe they used nails...

**************************************



(17 Syllables)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Britsh Ambassador to Washington has compared Trump
to The Terminator. Four years is bad enough - heaven help us
if he ever becomes a 'Second Term'inator!...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

contains adult humour and boobies...

************************************

comicalness: the
more 'adult' the humour, the
more puerile the joke?...

************************************



('Jimmy Carr-crash': 17 Syllables)
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"Me? I'm as fit as a fiddle!" (Said the renowned lyre)
---------------------------------------------------------------