The cost of living crisis...

*****************************************

You know times are tough

when lumberjacks cut down their 

own family trees...

*****************************************

(Self-harmers: 17 Syllables)

Start 'em young...

********************************

I started singing

at 5. I was so bad I'd

stopped by quarter past...

********************************

(17 Sillybles)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd forgotten what a quadratic equation was, so I looked it up.

Apparently, it's a second-order polynomial equation in a 

single variable x ax2 + bx + c = 0, with a ≠ 0.

Just as I thought.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pi AND CHIPS - a mathematician's favourite meal (£3.141592?)

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 18)

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Must remember to buy some Kleenex...

*********************************

I came into some

money recently. (Couldn't 

find any tissues)

*********************************

I came into some

money recently. God, I 

hate innuendos...

(17 Syllables)

The End Of The World Is Nisi...

************************************************

My wife found it hard to ignore

(The sound of my deafening snore)

"It's decibel HELL!"

She'd yell and she'd yell...

Then threw me right out of the door.

************************************************

'The Sound of 'Sound Asleep'

A hot (mis)spell...

******************************

WEATHER SUMMERY -

today it will be pleasant 

and sunny till dusk...

******************************

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 11: 17 Syllables)

 

************************************************

Ironically, being a comedian is only

murder when no-one dies of laughter...

************************************************

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 5)

Mi Liebe Femme...

********************************

My wife's a roly

polyglot. And that's 'fat' in

anyone's language...

********************************

(8/9/2010: 17 Syllables)