I come from a long line of haikuists. Or should that be three SHORT lines?...

Who doesn't like a 3-liner? (Quite a few of you don't, apparently.) Well, I'll have you know that many a critic has said of my work "at least it's in English" - and as for the great Stephen Fry, he once said of me "Vincent who?" Let's just say I supply the litter to the litterati [sic - but only at times] - ie: I write rubbish. But rubbish mostly inspired by the HAIKU, the 17th Century Japanese verse form consisting of 3 lines and 17 (5-7-5) syllables. (WARNING: flash photography and limericks)

Saturday, March 14, 2026

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No, you don't HAVE to

take a week off just because

you have a wee cough...

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Taking multivitamins daily may well add 4 months to

your life expectancy, but most of those 4 months are

spent trying to prise open those damned child-resistant caps!

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, March 12)

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Friday, March 13, 2026

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For those of you who

can't find the words, music will

gently show the way...

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I asked our local computer store about AI. They were very helpful.

My laptop may still be broken...but the wife's pregnant!

That's Artificial Insemination for you.

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Thursday, March 12, 2026

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No point releasing

the dogs of war if all you've

got is chihuahuas...

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RETURN TO SLENDER - the diet worked!

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Wednesday, March 11, 2026

The Mad Scientist...

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Dad likes a bit of

a laugh, but he hasn't quite

worked out WHICH bit yet...

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Oneupmanship is when your friend lands himself a plum job,

and you can't rest till you get yourself one that's even plumber.

Like fixing leaks?

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Tuesday, March 10, 2026

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"You should embrace your

mistakes," I told my wife. So

she gave me a hug...

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Monday, March 9, 2026

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If my girlfriend calls

me immature one more time,

I'll go tell mummy...

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Sunday, March 8, 2026

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"It's time to face the

music," said the judge - "Not jazz!

Please not jazz, m'lud!"...

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