for the love of loud jewellery...

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I love brass bands - I
always wear one on my ring
finger. Who needs gold?...

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What's not to love about Chinglish? - To add to the never-to-be-forgotten 'Wankelong Supermarket' (with obligatory piped music to wankelong to), a bus company here goes - very slowly - by the name of 'King Long' (as in 'every bloody journey's so ***king long') whilst a rival supermarket rejoices in the name of 'Yu Rong' (an emporium where the customer's not always right, apparently). You couldn't make it up. Well - you probably could. But I didn't ... Vincent Hefter, Guangxi Province, China.



(17 Syllables)

The Baker's Round

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...and so would you be
if you ate as many of
his buns as he does...

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- doh!...(or should that be 'dough!'?)





(17 rather sillybles)

saddled with a sister - for life...

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an identical
twin's life-cycle? - what else could it
be but a tandem?...

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Free Breakfast with Every Coffee (that's what it says on the Guilin coffeeshop menu - talk about 'arse about face'): it's the two Chinas - whilst the hoi polloi purchase tuppenny-ha'penny dumplings in the street to start their day, the nouveau riche frequent expensive coffeeshops where just one drink can cost a local peasant's daily earnings, and the food? - well, it's thrown in for free.
Not my sort of place, really - I just happen to know an employee there...




('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

role reversal - that's a good thing, right?

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"Look! A right pair of
ornithologists," whispered
a couple of tits...

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Seen on a Guilin menu yesterday: 'Crashed Pork with Corn Rice'. - Might that just be Chinese for 'Roadkill'?...





(17 Syllables)

because voices in their cornflakes tell them to?...

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one in six Britons
suffer from mental illness -
the rest enjoy it...

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Vincent Hefter, Guihua Lu, Yangshuo - not far from Embroidered Emerald and Anti-Invasion Roads (true). Sure makes good old 'Sheen Lane' seem pretty dull...


(17 Syllables)

it doesn't half exercise the Mrs, mind (when she finds out)

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all I exercised
in the gym today was my
right to do sod all...

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- hey, if the marriage isn't working out, why should I?...





('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

Yangshuo Landscape College for Foreign Language...

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it's so easy as
ABC: I am teaching
now English since years...

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-------------------- 'Everything is but a floating cloud, coffee is still a force' --------------------------

The above is a sign I rode past today on my 'hell of a state' (of-the-art) Chinese rent-a-bike in the magnificent Guangxi countryside. I detect a certain college's influence in the wording...

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(17 Syllables)