there's no smoke without fire(water)...

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An alcoholic?
Moi? - Rumours! (Nothing I can't
Scotch - on the rocks, please)

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(17 Syllables)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Donald Trump's brain really is that large (news item),
can someone please lock him up in one of its many cells?...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

the morning after...

****************************************

I was quite Brahms and
Liszt when I got home last night.
Now I'm just Lisztless...

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(17 Syllables)
--------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, students are still into pot noodles. Only
now it's 'ditch the noodles, smoke the pot'...
--------------------------------------------------------

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'The rich are on borrowed time,' warns Corbyn
(news item). Luckily for him, 'The Rich' don't
have a union - otherwise they'd be demanding
borrowed time and a half, I reckon...

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(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, September 26)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apparently, Bill Cosby has been removed from TV's Hall of
Fame. I guess he's been moved to the Stuart Hall of Fame...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fastest televised 147: Ronnie O'Sullivan, 5 minutes, 20 seconds.
Slowest? Alastair Cook, 6 ½ hours over two days...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Russell Brand

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who is this 'rather
strange man', so fond of posting
'rather strange man'tras?...

***************************************



(17 Syllables)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spending a penny in the swimming pool is as ill-advised as
spending a fortune in the casino...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If it's true that you can judge a man by what he drinks, I'm
not sure what to make of seeing Jeremy Corbyn enjoy an
anti-Semillon the other day ("very funny, but not really usable,"
The Daily Mail tells me.) Not sure why???...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on the count of three - draw!...

****************************************************

when cartoonists die,
they don't just stop drawing breath - they
stop drawing anything...

****************************************************



(17 Syllables)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Surely 'It's My Party (And I'll Cry If I Want To)' should now be added to
former Labour Home Secretary Alan Johnson's musical highlights list -
judging by how he views the Labour Party these days (Event magazine)...
(Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, September 23)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Misogynoir': was there ever a more beautiful word for such a contemptible prejudice?...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a proper church wedding...

****************************************

Your mum and I got
married before God, son. "Wow!
How long before, dad?"...

****************************************



(17 Syllables)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apparently, you can reverse your diabetes if you have a fat-free
soup and shake every day (news item). "Really? What sort of
soup, and how long should I shake? More info, please!"...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*********************************************************

Two minutes of exercise can be as good as
half an hour, apparently (news report).
"Not in our bed, it can't," my wife warns me...

*********************************************************