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                      (It's just been pointed out to me that Colgate is indeed on 

                       sale in Boots. Some jokes creep in through the side door!)

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               I see that Trump pardoned the traditional two turkeys this Thanksgiving 

               with his traditional gobble-gobble-gobbledygook speechifying. The 

               turkeys were probably the only ones who understood him...

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                                      Arsonists and I get on like a house on fire

                                      (which is great, as long as it's not MINE!)

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                              DCKEHCRAIS - rearranged deckchairs. Probably the ones on the Titanic.

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(Must be the honeymoon period)

 

 

 

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                          You know you're getting old when you do nothing

                          all day, but it takes you so much longer....

                          (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 20)

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                    Game of Wool: Britain's Best Knitter? Heaven forbid we'd 

                    ever be forced to watch Tom Daily. Weekly's more than enough!

                    (Though I wouldn't say 'no' to watching Keira Nightly!) 

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                   Few ever thought of Keir Starmer as the best thing since sliced bread - 

                   but plenty now think he's toast. 

                   (Like my Advent calendar, I fear his days are numbered.)

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                       "Never mind the BBC having to explain if it is biased, how

                       about Trump having to explain his frequent blatant disregard 

                       for the truth?" That's what the Mail on Sunday published, what 

                       they left out was the 'Leavitt to his spinmeister Karoline' quip 

                       (and the rest), which was the whole point of my writing.

                       Bastards made me look a fool yet again - it's happened so often, 

                       I probably AM that fool. (Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, Nov. 16)

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                                'Children left screaming as Channel ferry

                                shows porn' (Daily Mail headline) -

                                Must have been the Adult Channel ferry, haha...

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                                          The difference between 'conjugate' and 'decline'? 

                                              A verb CAN be conjugated but CAN'T be declined, 

                                              whereas a credit card CAN'T be conjugated, but 

                                              CAN be declined. Well, mine often is.

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When Trump's number's up, will it be "MORE UP

than anyone has ever seen before, not even close"?

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                                                   (But, by golly, he tried!)
 

Forgive him, Father, for he knows not what he writes...

 

 

                                

Don't give up the day job, Donnie (actually, I wouldn't mind if you DID!)

 

                                                             (Not 5-7-5)
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                                                   AUF WIEDERSEHEN, PRET - sorry, but I'm 

                                                   taking my custom to an independent coffee shop.

                                                   (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, December 2)

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                                        After striving so hard to be knighted

                                        Sir David must be really delighted.

                                        But I have to confess

                                        I couldn't care less,

                                        For he played for Madrid and United.

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                                        Bit of a weak last line...

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                MATCHA THE DAY - matcha latte v matcha espresso (kick-off 7:30)

                (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 4)

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                                   Horse-drawn coaches & hand-drawn mice...

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