Ouch...

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"Where's the most painful

place to get a tattoo, dad?" -

"Luton, probably"...

***********************************

(17 Syllables)

My chickens - not as daft as they look

******************************

I rang their necks

But there was no reply...

(If they don't pick up,

Then they'll never die)

******************************

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With regard to yesterday's 'censoring', how soon before Britain

loses it's 'quirky sense of humour' reputation and itself becomes 

the joke? Wokeness gone utterly mad. Pathetic...

(I see now I've since been UNcensored. Hmmm..)

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£28 billion? Bugger me. That's not a bumper profit, it's a 

'bumper-to-bumper' profit! Just HOW LONG must the queues 

have been for BP to have amassed QUITE so much?...

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********************************************************

"At last! I finally managed to join the mile

high club yesterday. On the flight to Dublin"...

"Cunnilingus?"...

"No. Aer Lingus, you dummy"...

********************************************************

Chryme and pun-ishment....

***********************************

Were criminals in

TV's HEARTBEAT placed under

cardiac arrest?...

***********************************

(17 Syllables)

The Last Supper (no, not THAT one)

**************************************

He was hooked on spaghetti,

He ate it all day...

(He'd have some for breakfast,

But he's just pasta way) ♱

*************************************

Spaghetti Junction dangerous? As far as I know, there

may have been a few accidents, but no one's pasta way...

HUMAN WRIGHTS...

Wheelwrights work on wheels.

Wainwrights work on wagons.

Playwrights work on plays.

Cartwrights work on carts.

Plowrights work on ploughs.

Shipwrights work on ships.

--------------------------------

I KNOW MY WRIGHTS!

--------------------------------

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 21)

------------------------------------------------------

Who do you vote for if you're not one of these 

"hard-working families" they're always on about? 

Is there a party that caters for lazy bastards like 

me and the Mrs? None, as far as I can tell. 

Gap in the market?... 

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Just goes to show: have sex with a young (virgin)

Prince and you'll eventually be brought to book.

And not just ANY book, but the UK's fastest-selling 

non-fiction book since records began in 1998...

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Brassica intolerance...

**************************************

do cannibals who 

can't stand vegetables spit out

the cauliflower ears?...

**************************************

(17 Syllables)

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A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Mind your footing!

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