Izzie? - well, he is now...

*********************************

Dave's had a sex-change -
and I think he's pulled it off.
Or was it severed?...

*********************************













(17 Syllables Cilla'bles (a one-off - ouch!))

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blast from the past (extracts from V.A.T.H. presents Pun verses Fun, Round One, 1977)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Poem I've Been Itching To Write
------------------------------------------
With his hair matted densely,
He's hated intently,
Each year that he goes to the barber's...
And it's easy to see
What the reason must be:
It's his hair, and the fleas that it harbours.


William Tell (The Story Of A Swiss Roll)
------------------------------------------------
I'm going to the land of William Tell,
With a friend called Iam I know quite well...
I hope to discover
A beautiful lover,
Then back to my wife...but will Iam tell?


Handel's Water Music
---------------------------
The musicians got carried away,
They played far too loud to a fellow...
And it's sadly that I have to say
That the piano was drowned by the cello.


Fruits of Labour
--------------------
Sgt. Pear and Sgt. Lime
Thought the army quite sublime...
Until she joined the Apple corps,
To Granny Smith it was a borps.


Misunderstanding
----------------------
"Tonight, you know, it's steak done rare,"
The Lady Mayoress told the Mayor -
"Alas," he sighed, "official do"...
"OK," she said, "it's cod for two".


Londonderry Air
---------------------
A Frenchman acting "Bottom"
In London's something rare;
They all now sing his praises:
"The London Derriere".


---------------------------------------------------------
"The trouble with inquests," said the coroner,
"is that they're 'why?'s after the event"...
---------------------------------------------------------

------- RETRIEVERS ARE FETCHING -------

---------------------------------------------------------

Is the road to damnation the route of all evil?

---------------------------------------------------------

Stock-car racing: hobby or wreck-creation?

---------------------------------------------------------

"The accused? As good as gold?...Bollocks," 
said the judge, "he's covered in gilt"

---------------------------------------------------------