ALL OVER THE PLAICE - where to pour the tartare butter sauce.

MY PLAICE OR YOURS? - whose is that BIG piece?

TAKE THE PLAICE OF - pinch someone else's fillet.

PLAICE NAMES - Alaskan and scale-eye, to name but two.

PLAICE KICKER - report him to the RSPCA!

TAKING PLAICE - it's called theft, if you don't pay.

A PLAICE OF MY OWN - I'm not sharing mine, OK?

HIDING PLAICE - the one that doesn't want to be caught.

A PLAICE IN THE SUN - quick, throw it back in!

DECIMAL PLAICE - I can't eat all mine, do you want 0.53 of it?

IN PLAICE OF - makes a great alternative to cod.

PLAICE OF SAFETY - don't worry, it's been filleted.

EATING PLAICE - what are you doing, dad?     (fish restaurant?)

MY HAPPY PLAICE - the one I threw back.

PRIDE OF PLAICE - mummy fish's small fry.

IN LAST PLAICE - the final fish joke.

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, November 17)

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Spelling 'STOLEN' is a piece of cake. Not to be confused with 'STOLLEN',

which is more of an admittedly cake-like fruit bread. Isn't it about time

someone informed Donald Trump of the fact?...

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