Enough of the grunting, already!...

********************************

Me? Grunt when I play

tennis? NO! - I like to play

without the racket... 

********************************

(17 Syllables)

------------------------------------------------------------------

The black sheep of the (royal) family: Prince Charles 

may well be next in line of succession, followed by 

Prince William. But right now I bet they'd both happily 

crown that treacherous b*****d Harry!...

------------------------------------------------------------------

Loony Platoony! So soldiers won't be able to call

each others lads any more? What next when it comes

to gender equality? Will cowboys be banned from

wearing chaps? Utter madness!...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

There is a Greensill far away. Well, not that far away, 

and it's coming back to haunt a good many people...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Boozy dinners for the happy winners?.....

************************************

Bafta's big night is

one thing - the morning Afta,

that's quite another!...

************************************

(17 Syllables)

------------------------------------------------------------------

FANTASIZES - bottles are usually 500ml, cans 300ml...

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 13)

------------------------------------------------------------------

Heaven forbid, if (Grand) National treasure Rachael 

Blackmore becomes a bit of a diva when making

personal appearances and starts demanding riders,

would they have to be female?...

------------------------------------------------------------------

Many suspected Rachael was cut from the same cloth

as many a great male jockey - but who knew that the

cloth would turn out to be velvet - National Velvet!...

------------------------------------------------------------------

Ice-cold drinks for ice-cold customers...

-------------------------------------------------

"Do you want ice with that?" asked the waitress. "Or

just snow?" she might have added. 'The Glorious 

Twelfth' - not quite as glorious as it might have been.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The circle of life...

****************************************

Philip gave Liz her

four kids. Now her four kids can

give her a fillip...

****************************************

('The passing of the Duke of Edinburgh': 17 Syllables)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Better Prince Philip's 'toxic masculinity' (Sarah 

Vine) than today's 'TikToxic' influencers, I say!...

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sad to hear of the demise of 'The Quiet Night Inn'.

The relaxing of Covid restrictions appears to have 

done for it. Didn't much like the landlord, anyway.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Republican on the mat...

***********************************

What's the plural of

Watergate? WaterGaetz? Yet

more US scandal!...

***********************************

('Matt Gaetz sleaze saga': 17 Syllables)

---------------------------------------------------

PETER PANDEMIC - catch it this Christmas!

(They're both airborne, right?...)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Fitness influencers be damned! The only good 

influencer is an 'under the influencer'. One who can

recommend the best local real ale pubs! Cheers!...

---------------------------------------------------------------

How about a 'Duke of Bonkerton' Regé Regé Saucy

comedy next? Should spice things up a bit!...

-------------------------------------------------------------

Not that daft, then?...

******************************

Kim Kardashian:

not just ANY airhead - a

BILLIONAIRhead!...

******************************

('It's official!': 17 Syllables)

------------------------------------------------------------

Just as gun salutes are fired from 'designated 

saluting stations', can't coverage of a consort's 

demise be broadcast on 'designated TV channels?' 

AS OPPOSED TO ALL OF THEM!...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Talking of chivalry, I wonder whether Boris Johnson

would ever offer up his seat to a woman? And how would

the constituents of Uxbridge and South Ruislip then feel

towards his female replacement?...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

£28,000 Louis Vuitton bags that look like planes? Can't 

wait to see them flying off the shelves! (Yeah, right...)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You crazy? No. Mad...

**********************************

is a gnomead a

gnome who never settles in

any one garden?...

**********************************

(17 Syllables)

----------------------------------------------------------------

Bloody hell! An Ian Fleming first edition is set to sell

for over £90k! Dad was right - he always told me to

put my money into Bonds...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Golf legend escapes prosecution. Tiger's out of the Woods!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Is it 'William & Harry', or 'William vs. Harry'? Seems 

Tom Bradby's been dragged into a 'feuding male'strom...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

'PAX' A PUN-CH - gives a 'peace' of his mind...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

English grammar...

*********************************************

There IS no Antonym for Cleopatra...

*********************************************

----------------------------------------------------

Special Advisers...

----------------------

You've got to hand it to Alan Duncan in his

memoirs: he certainly calls a Spad a Spad.

And usually with knobs on!...

----------------------------------------------------

We're saved!...Oh, dear, we haven't saved 

enough: cavalries charging over the hill is 

one thing, insurance companies charging 

over the odds quite another...

----------------------------------------------------

Enough of these posh boy politicians! Next

time round, let's have a PM who drops his

aitches - and not his trousers...

------------------------------------------------------

Just heard about one of the lesser-known 

AstraZeneca ciderfects: a fermented Adam's 

apple. Ouch...

------------------------------------------------------

£72 for a perfume you can't smell? It makes

no scents!...

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 8)

------------------------------------------------------