Don't worry, she can take it. Usually to the charity shop (it's where she takes most things)

**********************************

Indians worship cows.
I worship my wife. We have
a lot in common...

**********************************



('My bovine Bo Derek. Only joking...': 17 Syllables)
--------------------------------------------------------
Shame the BAFTA 2020 ceremony's virtual
this year. No chance of an after-party BAFTA
nomi-knees up! (On the plus side, no 'morning
-AFTA' headaches, I guess)
--------------------------------------------------------

No, it's not chocoLATE. It's only 4:00pm...

OK, so if it's not chocolate, what is it flavoured with? "Thyme, mate. Plenty of thyme"...
----------------------------------------------------
Football and restaurants are both back in
business! Happy the ref who can now book
a player and a table on the same day!...
(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, July 30)
----------------------------------------------------
"I've always got a mask on hand," I tell my
gran. "Shouldn't it be on face?" she asks...
----------------------------------------------------

with onions and parsley?...

******************************

I'm quite fond of a
bit of tripe, so I never
mind eating my words...

******************************



(17 Syllables)
------------------------------------------------------------
Controlling one's waste and controlling one's
waist: fly-tipping and obesity, two scourges of
modern-day society, have a lot more in common
than you might think, haha...
------------------------------------------------------------
Reassuring to know John Bercow will never a peer
[sic - as a parrot] in the House of Lords, haha...
------------------------------------------------------------
A BET A PLACE - what bookmakers make the world?
------------------------------------------------------------
Do bookmakers always respect their betters?...
------------------------------------------------------------

GARETH BALEARICS & THE CANARIES...
----------------------------------------------------
Welsh footballer, currently in Spain, linked
to possible move to Norwich? haha...
----------------------------------------------------
OBESITY: every kg of excess weight is a
potential killergram! Borisn't joking...
(Better to Diet Hard than Die Hard, haha...)
----------------------------------------------------
The Wisden Trophy...
------------------------------------------
ENGLAND 2 - (DIDN'T WIN)DIES 1
Windies one? No, they didn't! (But
they did win a lot of new friends)
------------------------------------------

bunch of lightweights...

***************************

in the fight against
obesity, the Commons
leads by example...

***************************



lightweights, the lot of 'em...



('For services to OBEsity': 17 Syllables)
-------------------------------------------------------
Bad news for husband: firm goes bust.
Good news for wife: bust goes firm...
(implants paid for just before firm goes bust)
-------------------------------------------------------
Maybe sugar-rich foodstuffs can just
incorporate themselves 'subliminally' into TV
programme titles? 'The ChocoLATE LATE
SHOW with James Corden' springs to mind...
-------------------------------------------------------
I knew Covid-19 was catching. But who knew
it was pussy cat'ching?...
-------------------------------------------------------

what are the odds...

********************************

Gambling? It's helped pay
for three kids' education -
my bookmaker's kids!...😠

********************************



(17 Syllables)
----------------------------------------------------------------
The defence lawyer stood up: "person...camera...
TV...man...woman," he started... "OUT OF ORDER!"
screamed the judge.
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Harry's love for Meghan was real. Everything else
was noise," we're told. Well, here's the thing, Harry:
sound may also be noise, but that doesn't mean
sound advice is...
----------------------------------------------------------------

er, try turning the light on...

***********************************

Bugger me! I look
twenty years younger - it's a
full-length mirror-cle!...

***********************************



(17 Syllables)
------------------------------------------------------------
"Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." Nothing
wrong with the words - it's the bloody President
who's out of order...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
'Finding Freedom'? The Art of Self-Destruction,
more like. As demonstrated by a master practitioner:
Prince Harri-kiri...(The Gripes of Wrath?)
-----------------------------------------------------------------