Boris 'a vacuum of integrity' says Dominic Grieve...

*******************************

Can 'a vacuum

of integrity' sweep things

under the carpet?... 

*******************************

Wouldn't that be 'a brush of integrity'?...

(17 Syllables)

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Kanye West's trainers sell for a record £1.3m. That's

a heck of a record! (Probably because he's not singing

on it, haha)

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- and the Duke of Ednbrgh Award for silliness goes to

......'Abrdn'!

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Does a shortage of waiters mean the impecunious 

unemployed really aren't that bothered about putting 

food on the table?...

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Was that a cartoon of our PM in the paper today - or

a Carrie'cature of a henpecked hubby?...

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Source of the No 10 leaks? Dilyn the Dog, apparently.

All over the aides' handbags, I'm told...

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Retired footballer on assault charge...

************************************

Ryan Giggs was a

striker. Let the courts decide

whether he still is...

************************************

(17 Syllables)

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Nitwits may be stupid, but a 'knit wit' will have you in

stitches! (Vincent. Hefter, Daily Mail, April 27)

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By attempting to get Conservative Party donors to

help pay for his flat's refurbishment, is Boris Johnson

admitting that he's a poor PM? Few would argue...

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REACH FOR THE SKY BUTTON - for a great biopic...

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Good to know Boris and Carrie have a shared interest 

in wildlife. With Carrie it's badgers, of course. Boris is

more of a beavers man...

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RIP...

Les McKeown 🕇,

Les Dawson 🕇,

Les Paul 🕇,

Les Misérables...

---------------------------------------------------------------

Another one bites the dust, but the show goes on...

---------------------------------------------------------------

************************************************************

If a red-letter day is when you get great news, 

then an unread letter day must be when you 

can't even bring yourself to open the envelope...

************************************************************

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Boris Johnson's moral compass appears to have gone

west. Actually, I think it went east. Just goes to show.

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A 289ft painting? When David Hockney's life eventually

draws to an end, it'll be him who's holding the pencil -

there's no stopping him!...

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Boris Johnson strapped for cash? Who knew he had an

S&M fetish? He can't be that poorly off, then...

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Pawnography...

*************************************

My son began playing

chess at 5, and hasn't stopped

since. That's 2 hours now...

*************************************

(17 Syllables)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Boris lies in

the eye of the storm - he just can't help himself...

--------------------------------------------------------------

FAT BLOKE FLAT BROKE? Boris has to pay for

flat refurbishment, after all. A right old Carrie on.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Charged with assault, at least Ryan Giggs shouldn't

have any problems organising his defence. He's a

football manager, it's part of what he does...

--------------------------------------------------------------

My girlfriend's so young, I'm old enough to be

her next-door neighbour. She's 19, I'm 21. Well, 

21A, as my postman keeps pointing out...

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*********************************

This Marmite drought's left 

us all in a bit of a

jam - and we hate jam!...

*********************************

(17 Syllables)

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Sleaze, sleaze, sleaze," yelled Sir Keir, "and all on 

his watch!" ('Which is probably a Rolex,' I thought,

'donated for services rendered')

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Should he catch sight of one of Yoko Ono's 'I LOVE 

YOU EARTH' billboards, Craig Brown says he'd want 

to nip back inside and draw the curtains. Why not get

Yoko to draw them for him? As a multimedia artist,

I reckon that's about the limit of her abilities...

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No point living in the past...

**********************************

My wife lives in the

present - the present of the

house our split cost me...🎀

**********************************

(17 Syllables)

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No 10 makeover scandal: I fully expect a government

whitewash. Or maybe they'll just gloss over it. Interior

design, it's so tricky...

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 23)

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If a double negative is a positive, how come two

wrongs don't make a right?...

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The PM, his honey blonde and a rather crimson face

(news item). Arcuri-osity may have killed the cat, but

it seems Boris has just about pulled through...

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The British Town Crier Championships are to be held 

in complete silence this year. "FOR CRYING OUT 

LOUD!" mouth the participants, to see if it works...

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"That's a 3. One...two...three..."

*******************************

I'm a mover and 

shaker. But only when I

play Ludo, of course...🎲

*******************************

('Shake the dice, move the token': 17 Syllables)

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"My shout," said the pub landlord to Sir Keir Starmer.

Turns out the shout was "GET OUT OF MY PUB!"...

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Landlord gives Sir Keir both barrels (news item). Very

generous of him. Was there any beer still in them?...

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George Floyd's killer, Derek Chauvin, is a copper with

attitude. Does that make him a male Chauvin-ist 'pig'?

Probably...

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Women's sex lives are boosted by plenty of sleep,

apparently (news item). Who knew? Pussies love catnaps!...

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