***************************************    

    "In a while, crocodile,"

             

              SHE SAID.

Moments later, an allig ate 'er.

             

             SHE DEAD.

***************************************

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The Information Commissioner's Office has just recommended

getting rid of all French letters and French words. Couldn't agree more!

(But, ahem, I've nothing against French LETTERS. They can stay)

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Should Whitehall mandarins be allowed to identify

as tangerines? #ItsAMadMadMadMadWorld

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Test cricket: Apple crumble, Rhubarb crumble, England crumble...

not another batting collapse?... #ProveMeWrong

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Book reviewer Craig BROWN is retiring. A classic case of nominative

determinism gone wrong. He should have been christened Craig RED.

For that's what he did. He red...and red...and red. Over 1,000 books 

in all. May the next chapter of his life be a long and happy one...

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I hope anyone hoping 'to get off with' ex-footballer Michael Owen's

daughter Gemma realises 'a match made in heaven' lasts more than

90 minutes...

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