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Gavin Williamson, MP of the Year?
Well, yes - if the 'M' stands for MASSIVE
and the 'P' is left to your imagination...
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The best way to beat bad skin? With birch branches
in a sauna! (It's the best way to beat any skin, haha...)
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What d'you mean, Simon Rattle's a lightning
conductor? - "Well, apparently he can get through
Chopin's 'Minute Waltz' in about 30 seconds"...(he's a
conductor of some note, by the way - but I'm not
musical, so I've no idea what note that is)
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BOX WINE - what pugilists do when they hit the bottle.
Confusing, I know. (Marquess of Queensberry rules:
when hitting the bottle, make sure it's never below the belt)
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Congratulations, Jimmy Anderson. 600 Test wickets!
I doff my hat (which also happens to be a bowler,
coincidentally, haha...)
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