Poor stock control...

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How come I'm still on

the shelf when I'm twenty years 

past my sell-by date?...

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(17 Syllables)

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England may well be the mother of parliaments, but

there's relief all round when paternity tests prove that

Boris couldn't possibly be the father. Well, not this

time, anyway...

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So many people have politely been telling Boris to

'go forth and multiply', it can't come as too much of a 

surprise when he goes and does exactly that...

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Zero carbon by 2050? Yeah, right. Talk about 'Emission 

Impossible'... (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 4)

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CATHARCTIC - providing cold comfort...

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 3)

(As in "writing about my ill-fated trip to the 

North Pole proved quite catharctic", haha...

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