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It's a doddle, men:
adore her, don't bore her, do
all her chores for her...
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(17 Syllables)
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Find you're getting nowhere fast in life? Buy an exercise
bike. You'll still get nowhere, of course - but a little bit
faster every day. Saves time...
(Try to buy a Peloton at a discounted price and you'll get
nowhere fast. A bit like riding one, in fact)
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How did I survive Storm Barra? By drinking! Tawny,
rosé, ruby or white - any port in a storm, as they say!...
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Oh, dear. Following the birth of his baby, it looks like
Boris's Tory colleagues may well be manoeuvring for
him to take eternity leave...
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Wallpapergate: Don't tell me they're going to be tearing
Boris off a strip. Again. Those strips are extremely
expensive! (£840 a roll, by all accounts)
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Sorry, Boris, old boy, but calling for you to resign is also
a proportionate and responsible action, Boris. As I'm
sure you understand...
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