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It's not a foot I've
got on the housing ladder -
it's an inch, at most...
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(17 Syllables)
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'Gifts are like sex,' says Rosie Green, 'you have to ask what
your partner wants'. Trouble is, in my case, when I do give
her what she wants, she says she'd like it in a size bigger.
It really IS like sex!...
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I'd rather do bird at Bernard Matthews' turkey factory than
porridge at the Quaker Oats milling facility. Hate the stuff!
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We're all wanting a Christmas to die for - and this year,
according to the scientists, quite a few of us might! So be
careful what you wish for. Happy Christmask!...
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If Spotty can change his name to Scotty, maybe 'Beano'
can change its name to 'Business Meeting'? wonders Boris
(as ever more Tory beanos come to light).
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I wonder if Boris will ever buy his kids a swing as large
as the one enjoyed by the Lib Dems in N. Shropshire!...
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I reckon the Government should use Nina Conti to promote
mask-wearing. Humour can overcome so many barriers, and
anyone who's seen one of her shows might never look at
masks in the same light again!...
(Vincent Hefter, Mail on Sunday, December 19)
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