Carry On, Nurse...

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Hysterectomies

on the telly? "SCREENS, NURSE! -

42-inch, please"...

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(17 Syllables)

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ARAB'LE LAND - often found in the Middle East...

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The difference between a blackleg and his colleagues is

striking... (Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, August 26)

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Seeing as it's so expensive now, I can't even afford the

energy...to complain about it. #EnergyCrisis

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The first episode of Meghan Markle's podcast series may

not be a cracker exactly, nut it's certainly like what you'll

find inside the cracker: a bit of a joke...

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I'm sure she's trying her best, but at only 5ft 3 inches, is it

any wonder that Priti Patel is in over her head?...

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A lot of light in the home makes us feel happier, apparently

(another bloody survey). Hence the wedding vows to my

wife of 'love, honour and a bay window'...

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The 20 questions a man should ask on a first date. No 1: do

you buy the Daily Mail? If the answer's 'yes', then you've

saved yourself having to ask another 19 questions. (I'm

biting the hand that doesn't feed me, here)

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Liz Truss has no idea how to cope with the dire situation we 

all now find ourselves in. (Nor do I, by the way.) But I 

recognise gravitas and expertise when I see it, and I don't see 

it in Ms Truss. An utter lightweight. If now is not the time for 

a Government of national unity - in consultation with all the 

leading lights of business and industry - then when is? To limit 

ourselves to the brainpower of a handful of less than impressive 

individuals from one side of the House is to fight the current 

crises with one hand tied behind our collective backs...

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Ask customers to buy produce of a different size and shape

than they're used to? Imagine if prospective husbands were

expected to do the same when choosing their partners?

Doesn't bear thinking about!... #Lidl

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Thirty-five per cent of pupils didn't manage to get a grade 4 

or above in their GCSE maths, apparently. How depressing 

is that? That's nearly a third of them...

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