The NHS...

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Rishi Sunak wants

to tackle Mr Pointments.

"Who's Mr Pointments?"...

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(17 Syllables)

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SCENTS OF HUMOUR - is that why some people smell funny?

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Fourth-tier Crawley? That's no way to speak about one of

England's current openers... #Football #Cricket

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Suddenly he's Erik ten out of ten Hag?... #ManchesterUnited

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Reporting someone with dementia for driving is one thing -

reporting a partner for driving you up the wall, that's 

quite another...

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Sex twice a week is like magic medicine, apparently...

I wonder if that still applies if you do it three times weakly?

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Addicted to drugs for 20 years, Shaun (Bicycle) Ryder says

pedalling from 8am till 11pm helped him get clean. Peddlers,

on the other hand, work round the clock. That's the problem.

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What does a six-year-old skydiver wear? A little jumper?

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We've just bought another dog, and it's always so angry. 

Must be one of these (very, very) cross breeds...

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Only a lunatic would object to calling the man of the match

in a game between between two male teams 'the "man" of

the match'. There are obviously a lot of lunatics about...

(Sorry, probably shouldn't use the words 'lunatic, 'male' or

'man'. Are the words 'obviously' and 'between' still OK?)

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Bravo, Emily Maitlis, for pointing out what SHOULD BE the

bleedin' obvious, but obviously ISN'T to many. Bloody

refreshing to hear the unvarnished truth. Mind you, she'll

probably be the female equivalent of 'Johnny No Mates'

right now: Emily Mateless. Certainly as far as the Tories

are concerned...

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