Curiosity - it's a GOOD thing, right?...

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"When were children invented, dad?"

"1792, son"

"You don't mind me asking, do you, dad?"

"Course not. How else you going to learn, boy?"...

*************************************************************

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I had to take my homework to the vet yesterday. It was covered in

ticks. "Is it bad?" I asked. "No," he exclaimed, "it's excellent!"...

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How do you fire an incompetent circus clown? "Out of a cannon, presumably"...

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ALBUMEN WANTED - TV quiz show seeks male Caucasian eggheads...

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Feeding your kids lobster risotto with samphire? That's nuts. 

But not just any nuts, presumably. Kurrajong nuts from the 

Australian Kurrajong tree (Brachychiton populenus). 

No way they'd eat peanuts...

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So now a black Dr Who is going to have a trans sidekick?

What's the betting they're about to be joined by a couple

more physically and mentally-challenged companions? How soon before being an able-bodied, straight Caucasian

becomes an actual crime?...

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Mail Finance has just sent me an 'exclusive invite to our

new webinar'. Not sure I should put my faith in anyone

who doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'exclusive'

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Prefer your pet to your partner (Mail)? My sister doesn't: she

loves her German shepherd. Married him three years ago.

He's bilingual, too.

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Congratulations to Jake Daniels on coming out as the UK's

only gay active male professional footballer. How soon before

another player comes out as the first one to be openly greedy,

empty-headed or work-shy?

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Football Tennis. Wow, Jake Daniels' coming out really is a game-changer!

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