What a funny chapati you are!...

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"I really hate these

Indian flatbreads, mate. No

offence" - "Naan taken"...

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(17 Syllables)

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Grab your coat, you've pulled! Most people dream of being 

pulled by a beautiful woman. Not Neil Parish. Seems he'd

rather be pulled by a tractor...

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How the hell can you land on a porn site when searching

for tractors? What was the site? www.cuntryfile.co.uk?...

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Grass courts, hard courts and clay courts may never have 

been a problem for Boris Becker. But Crown Courts? Far 

tougher, sadly...

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You know you're getting old when you're asked if you

fancy a roll in the hay and you're not sure whether to

go for bacon or sausage...

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Covid PPE contracts: where there's muck there's bras. #MichelleMone

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Porn-watching MP Neil Parish has had the whip suspended. Got 

him quite excited, apparently. It was probably the same whip they'd 

used in one of those videos...

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I, too, once landed inadvertently on a porn site while searching

for machinery. I was laying our driveway and needed a compactor

for my hardcore. I can see what happened now, but my wife took

some convincing... #HardcorePorn

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Not only have Norfolk Police been issued with a list of 37 

gender terms and sexual identities, but the Norfolk Broads 

must now be referred to as Women...

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Bloody hell! £40 million to stay on in the US? I guess it really 

must be the Corden Bleu of late night TV chat shows!...

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If it's true the show is to be axed, it looks like Gordon Ramsay's Future 

Food Stars' main task was be help cook the great man's goose...

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Camilla on the Vogue front cover? When it comes to getting 

the British public to swallow the fact she'll be a future Queen 

Consort, I wouldn't be surprised if an Enninful of sugar helps 

the medicine go down!...

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'When you're young, with zero self-esteem, a single 

sentence can derail you,' writes Liz Jones (You magazine). 

Especially when the sentence is two and a half years. 

Just ask Boris Becker, who's neither young, NOR lacking 

in self-esteem.

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As Alexandra Shulman says, women losing access 

to their hormone replacement therapy is no trivial 

matter. To suggest otherwise would be totally HRTless. 

I can tell by the look on my beloved's face! My bad.

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