(First-class post) traumatic stress disorder...

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"Wow, someone else has

got the same postcode as you!" -

"NE1 1NO?"...

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('Anyone I know': 17 Syllables)

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I've never hacked off ANY cheese when working from home,

thank you very much, Boris. The only thing I seem to have

hacked off is YOU, seeing as you think I ought to go back to

working at the office. No pleasing some people...

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Congratulations, Celtic. I fear your cross-city rivals will now

be even crosser...

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Vardy v Rooney, Court 13: I have to say, I'm not sure if this

year's Wimbledon will offer anything as entertaining as this.

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The family tree (well, bush, to be exact): to celebrate the 

Jubilee, the Daily Mail today is offering a FREE Queen 

Elizabeth II rose. A unique rose with only two pricks on it, 

apparently. To commemorate Andrew and Harry, I imagine. 

Nice touch. Talk about a rose between two thorns...

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Rebekah Vardy & Coleen Rooney: talk about putting the 'us'

into 'vacuous'. I wonder what the inspirational Dame

Deborah James makes of it all. She'd probably tell me off

for being so critical of others. Life, eh?...

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For a David Beckham stalker to claim she's the mum of 

Harper's bizarre. (Not her magazine of choice, I suspect)

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Jemma Melvin: a woman not to be trifled with gets 

her just desserts. Smiles all round! #JubileePudding

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Surely a delicious Eton Mess would be the perfect jubilee

dessert? (I've never yet seen one left un-Eton!)

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"Bolton is in my blood," said Amir Khan. "I wondered 

what it was," said the haematologist, "but a couple of 

years in London should soon clear it up"...

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