**************************************

Are old folk who don't 

need glasses the ones who swig

straight from the bottle?...

**************************************

I may be old, but 

I still don't need glasses! (I

swig from the bottle)

(17 Syllables)

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I knew I could never give up Netflix or my gym membership

to enable me to buy a decent house - so I gave up the ghost 

and bought a haunted one! Take that, Kirstie Allsopp!...

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Just to let you know, Bristol University - I, too, now identify

as a cat purrson. (What's more, I'm saving up for the operation

and there's already 50 quid in the kitty)

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8 out of 10 cats who've been kicked by Kurt Zouma would

quite happily move in with Jimmy Carr - however tasteless

his jokes might be. I sure know which of these two gentlemen

I'd quite happily cancel, and it sure ain't Jimmy. And yes, I've

been to Auschwitz - as everyone should...

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"Do any fine deeds yesterday?" - "Sure did. Sped through a

village and parked on a double yellow" - "But they're not

fine deeds!" - "Sure are. Got fined for both"...

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"Comedy is dying," says Jimmy Carr. 'Murder...or mans laughter?'

I ask myself... RIP.

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Let's Kick Racism Out Of Football? How about 'Let's Kick 

Footballers Who Kick Cats Out Of Football'? Stand up and 

be counted, West Ham...

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