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If pub grub is what
Ant and Dec eat, are pub grubs
what the others eat?...
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(17 Rather Sillybles)
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NICK FERRARI...ARRESTED...SENTENCED - my
life as a failed car thief...
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David Davis and Andrew Mitchell? As thick as thieves,
writes Henry Deedes. "As thick as two planks, more
like," Boris probably mutters to himself. No love lost...
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My Maths teacher thinks I'm 'the cream of the cream'.
My History teacher thinks I'm thick. Does that mean
I'm thick cream?...
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Unlike Greg Wise and Emma Thompson, my wife and I
NEVER turn the telly off, and rarely turn each other ON!
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Nothing's ever black or white? The 'Gray' report begs to
differ. Now f*** off, Boris...
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"The first duty of Government is to uphold the law," said
Maggie Thatcher once. Now, the first duty of Government
seems to be to hold UP the law. These are sad times...
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Dereliction of duty is not like a birthday cake - a simple
apology won't cut it. Resign, Prime Minister...
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"Pete wrote a book about dung last year" - "Sell many?"
- "Bucketloads. Stank the place out" - "Mike too, he wrote
one on the history of pails. Sold bucketloads, too - but all
empty, apparently, he says" That's nothing! I wrote one on
toilets. Sold a shitload. Jesus, the pong! Never again!...
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I wrote a book on my grandfather last year. Wouldn't it have
been easier to write on paper?...
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How times have changed! The grand old Duke of York, he
had 10,000 men. Andrew? He makes do with 72 teddy bears.
(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, February 1...or 'name and
address supplied,' as they put it today)
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