HOW MUCH a litre?...

*************************************

Raise the roof as much

as you want - the price of gas

will still go through it...

*************************************

- so much for convertibles...

(17 Syllables)

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Our PM seems to be ageing like a fined wine...

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TEL: EPATHY - when you just KNOW it's your mum on the phone

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COTONEASTER EGG - plant-based treat...

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SHEFFIELD THURSDAY - a team ahead of its time...

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Boris Johnson being slapped with a £50 fixed penalty notice

won't have hurt much. Well, not as much as being slapped by

Will Smith...

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As soon as the speed awareness course finished, I rushed out

of the room. "Hang on there, lad - not so fast!" yelled the

instructor. Seems I'm a slow learner...

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4billion-year-old rock (star) shows oldest evidence of life on

Earth... #Jagger

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Freeze the Fear with Wim Hof? Sorry, it left me cold...

#ITurnedItHof #WimSumLoseSum

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Hancock's Leaked Kiss? Sounds like a missing episode of

Hancock's Half Hour. I wonder if it's just as funny? (I'm told it is)

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Happiness is...a half-hour of slow radio accompanied by 

a glass or two of sloe gin. Thank you, Radio 3. Can't wait. 

Mind you, a bucketful of fast food will soon make up for lost time!

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I'm not a great Boris fan, but to call him a criminal because 

of one (or more?) fixed penalty notices is plain silly. A criminal 

is someone who is defined by his criminality. Buffoon? Maybe. 

An embarrassment? Undoubtedly, at times. But a criminal? No.

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Asylum seekers to be packed off to Rwanda? Even I (and I know

nothing about anything) know this is wrong. How much longer is

this abysmally untalented Government going to go on embarrassing

our country, FFS?...

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