"Stunning, my dear"...

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Cops need TASERS to

stun men. All a woman needs 

is a negligée... 

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(17 Syllables)

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I wanted to write in to complain about Jenni Murray 

calling her (and my) generation 'lazy'. I wanted to, but 

you know what? I really can't be arsed bothered...

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 4)

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A pitch-perfect plumber with a good set of pipes? I

wonder if they're PVC?...

(Vincent Hefter, Daily Mail, April 6)

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Seeing pictures of the new Peter Rabbit £5 coin, my 

daughter's just asked my wife when she can see some of 

this 'funny bunny money, mummy?'

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"I'm a piano teacher of some note," said my teacher. 

"Which note?" I asked. " B sharp!" she replied. "I will be," 

I said, "as sharp as a button! As long as we keep having 

these lessons!" (Mail)

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