Sunday, April 3, 2022

Marriage, eh?...

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I know my wife would
never walk away from me.
She'd take a taxi...

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(17 Syllables)
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When did my mum and dad separate? Right after 
the point of conception - drenched in sweat! (It's not 
a broken home I come from - it's a broken bed!)
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If female cyclists boycott, what do male cyclists do? 
Girlcott? And what on earth are trans cyclists meant 
to do? It's all getting too much for me...
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Trans cyclists don't boycott, they "boy<--------->girlcott"
or "girl<--------->boycott", depending...
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Tired of poaching eggs and salmon, it seems Gordon 
Ramsay has now resorted to poaching other people's 
ideas. Surprised he hasn't ended up in hot water himself!
(Vincent Hefter, Weekend Magazine, April 23)
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How soon before you can walk into a bookshop and 
just ask for 30 kilos' worth? And would they tear out 
a few pages if you were slightly over? Or might they 
be sold by the yard? Zoom calls have a lot to answer for!
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"You sing louder than our dog barks!" says my wife. 
"But not as well as Samantha Barks, sadly," she adds, 
rather cruelly...
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NEVER ON A SUNDAE - sprinkles are for cones only.
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£380million plays £1.3billion...
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If nothing else, the marriage of Brooklyn Beckham
to Nicola Peltz certainly proves one thing: money
CAN grow on trees. Family trees.
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Cycling and Rowling are two great sports affected
by 'trans' issues. And to anyone who says Rowling's
not a sport, I think she's a jolly good one to put up
with so much abuse...
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Now she's been featured in 'Me And My Money', 
maybe Carol Decker should release a follow-up to 
China In Your Hand. How about T'Paund In Your 
Pocket? Not that it's worth much these days...
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