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I just finished dead last in a sprint
won in a dead-heat in 11 seconds
dead. I tell you what, this running
lark will be the death of me...
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Just as well Boris's career didn't go up in flames yesterday
- turns out Mark Harper's criticism of him wouldn't have
made a large enough splash to douse them...
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Why wait till it's hip to have one replaced, Liam? Daft bugger.
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My wife only took up snooker two hours ago, and
she swears blind she's already had two holes-in-one!
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"Make Uranus your priority," Nasa were told recently. Weird,
that - my doctor told me just the same just the other day...
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Boris Johnson: Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
and First Lord of the Treasury (to break the law).
Some title, that...
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Priti Patella - the rest of her's rubbish...
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