VLADIMIR PUTIN: 5' 7" - but what a prick...

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"A SMALLER THAN AVERAGE DICK"tator 

with a smaller than average dick...is 

that the root of his problems?...

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Too easy attacking armchair generals like Piers 

Morgan. They are, by definition, sitting targets.

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With a man like Volodymyr in charge, Zelensky's the

limit! We're right behind you, Ukraine!...

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Stick to your guns, Volodymyr! I just hope we can

give you enough guns to stick to!!! The UK may be

right behind you, but we're beside you in spirit!...

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Not sure I've ever been more ashamed of being British right 

now. Piss-poor politicians primarily, I guess. Not sure why 

any Ukrainians would want to come here, but if they do, I

hope we welcome them with open arms. ANY NUMBER OF 

THEM, Boris / Priti, OK?...

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Commentators want a no-fly zone above Ukraine, decision-

makers want no such thing. If their roles were reversed,would 

their views stay the same? So easy to laugh in the face of 

danger when you're a good few hundred miles away...

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Why do people call

my fridge 'JAM'-packed when it's full

to the brim with BEER?...

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(Why call my larder 'JAM-packed' when that's

about the only thing that's NOT in it?...)

(17 Syllables)